an aborted blog lol

I was writing a blog. I was sad. so the first 3 lines were sad.

suddenly I got cheered up and I erased the 3 lines and did about a paragraph.

then I found out something that pissed me off, and I erased the paragraph and was writing some lines when I thought how bad it would look. I decided to erase it all and forget about it.

I am never moody, but today I felt a lot of different feelings in such a short spam of time. bah, I hate being moody, oh well. Just one day wont hurt I suppose.

perfect example that when you think too much about something, nothing ends up being done. haha, so I figure a blog now about all this would do better lol.

I insist, cheers in the name of life =)

proving the oscurity of a summer blog

And so today many things went through my head. Many. Way too many.

I see that high school life is totally over even though when I pass by the hallways, I feel like it is home. I feel powerful. haha, who knows.

And to think that people when they see the chance of happiness, they are scared and uncertainty breeds in them thoughts of failure. The 'what if' of life. That is what slaughters dreams. But we should not let it happen. We are denying us the possibility of uttermost happiness, the chance of touching heaven.
I will not surrender in my pursue of happiness.

I believe in dreaming like we will live forever and live like we will die today. I believe in respect and reason. I believe that a better future lies in the enlightenment of the general public. I believe there is hope.

The question is where does my inspiration comes from. the question is the ultimate question of the universe: why is that so

11:15 PM lol

I feel like stuff is slowly coming. today a magnificent thing have happened. the stars are shining stronger than before. Their shine is intense, not noticeable but it is there.

I want to say I feel melancholic but thats not true either. I feel like I dont know where I am. uncertainty or anxiety would do a better job. hehe

So back from daydreaming (or rather midnite dreaming lol), stuff is not getting done fast enough. I still need a job, I need to do more hanging out, I need to read my E&M book and nothing. Lol

I want that book over. I want knowledge now!!!

perhaps back to daydreaming...to think that while we think, a sensation of airlessness happen, a mental vacumm able to scan our mind in its most beautiful stage: daydreaming.

so this is the air of being home once again

I feel last semester made a good impression on my mind. I am back home and I am usually, so cheerful and lazy. I feel different. I feel like I miss something so much and surprisingly enough, I feel with energies to go around the world. Perhaps this energy wants to heal the wound of longing. Oh good.

This air of homeness is meeting the bitter lips of yearning, to the point it tastes like nothingness: like dry water resting on the vessel of promise.

Oh God. Let this break barriers, let it survive but not hurt. Let it be!

prolly the last post at Clara Dickson

here, I am panicking cause I have my last final in exactly 8 hours and I am about to start studying. I didnt procrastinate much, though. I have been busy cleaning, laundrying, etc. oh God. I am gonna bomb that test or sleep 3 hours. you know which one will I pick :/

on another note:
let my friends know whose my better friend as of the end of this semester:
1. Robert
2. Mimi
3. Jin
4. Peter
5. Andrew
6. Angela
7. Nathan

a cheer to you guys! especially to the rawring creature, a friend who is not to be forgotten as time flies by. Thanks all of you for this great semester. I really do appreciate you all. I am gonna miss each and everyone of you. Specially, Thanks to you guys, Mcrawring and sluo, friends who showed me that procrastination can be also be defined in terms of a joyful infinite loop. hehe. I am gonna miss you :)

self-consuming thoughts

I told myself I would study my ass off for every final. But there is something in me that does not want to. I...I am too anxious. I dont want it over...this is what I want of me, I want to stay. I am happy here. I want to spend more time with my friends at Cornell. guys...I am gonna missssss you sooooo much.


On a lighter note, physics test is soon and I havent really started studying for it. what am I to do!? aaaaaa. I am gonna fail that class!!! OH GOD. oh well. tis all worth it. every single second spent with them. tis all worthed it.

my friends and my family back home misses me as much I miss them. why can I combine the two planes of existance. Why did I go away to study? No, thats not the right question. If there is anything I am glad about, it is that I came to Cornell. Tis been the best year of my life, thus far. CHEERS IN THE NAME OF LIFE!

thinking...

So what is it that keep us alive, whats is the main motivation. I daresay thats not the question to ask. rather, what is that should keep us alive. What is the right motivation. Is it for fun, like hedonists claim or is for a productive aim? what is it that keep us going on, why dont we give up and let it go? why is it? Why do we long to live. What is it...in you.


ooooh so thoughtful today. I dont know. I want finals to be over but I dont want this to be over. my friends, my Cornell life, my happy moments. oh well...back from the clouds. Lets see.

on Another note, two finals down, for good or bad. I could have done better, thats all I have to say :/

to think I am the only one who do this

one final in 24 hours and one in 48 hours from now. I swear I dont want to study!!! :P

I aced my first test at cornell after sleeping thru that afternoon. Just got my phil paper back "A: excellent paper". now, off to fail finals :P

on one last note, when you graduate you will look back at everything you've done in college. Imagine if you aced everything and had no further life. What a trite existance if this happens to you. Thats why making the most out of your life is so fun :P I am sure that "guy with no name" and certain girl called Ming Ming agree with me xD

oh last days of being a freshman. Gotta miss you guys, overall Ming Ming and MacRawring. ;_;
go you guys! I love ya pals!