a deadly treatise

It happens sometimes that we get entagled in the beauty of the moment, unable to see it from an outsider's perspective as we move on in our lives, losing the sensitity of the objective brain.

Sometimes I realize the importance of things of things at a big scale, like the overpowering sound of a hymn. Who am I, whom do I love, why am I here, why do I exist. Am I happy? do I make my loved ones happy? if only I could be shielded from such feelings.

But after all, is it all worth it? Do I have a better path? am I making the right choice? is this what I want? such questions should be ommipresent in my brain. Its a shame they come by so seldom, since afterall the shorter the time length, as delta x-> infinity, the more perfected one life becomes. Oh mathematicians, have you ever considered the implications of such act, the assasination of the soul? In all your kindness, have mercy of the human imperfections!

What if for a second we could flash our soul to the world. Would mine survive such fatal blow? I sincerely hope that it will, and thus here I shall go.

a non horny crisp

i went poof in one and down in the other
-mimi at my job

amazing hehe

It's been so long since I post in here. I had no time. ece 230 and prelim season are a bad combo. This is the first documented friday night I have done substantial hw in my life. some landmarks there, hehe.

I am feeling quite strange as if overtaken by a dark and gloomy feeling...those desires to enjoy suffering and distress, or to cause it; to enjoy looking at a gothic image, deriving pleasure from its baleful images. Maybe its my ambient music, "dont want you no more" from the twilight princess game, such an omminous-sounding track.

Ah, feelings, desires, sensations, mental states...Consciousness. I swear, I will crash, if not physically, mentally.

interesting,
amusing, I would say
If only I could tell her this ad-infinitum
mmm, I wonder if she will do it
I am glad he said that
why does he has to do that, fuck
if only I had a choice

-non voiced thoughts soon to take over.

ece 220 and phys 214. I will have enough waves by then. I want a more controllable function now. and I mean, NOW!